There's no way around it, life with 2 kids is more challenging than life with 1. I'm sure it gets a ton easier, but at least at first, it's interesting. There's 2 bums to change (since our girls are both babies still!), 2 mouths to feed, 2 kids to bathe, dress, scream, etc. Of course there's also 2 girls to cuddle and a built in playmate (in a few months when Mady's not quite so fragile). I'm still figuring out how to leave the house with 2 kids in tow, but you're all welcome to come visit us as long as no one is sick!
I've found that the biggest hurdle to overcome is psychological. I'm officially outnumbered during the day and the girls totally gang up on me (Sydney handed me a lighter the other day while I was feeding Mady leaving me to wonder how she found it!). It's sort of scary being 100% responsible for 2 tiny girls all the time, and although I am very happy to have them both here, I will admit I get rather stressed at times!
To combat the overwhelming feelings of potential panic, I have instituted a new practice that I think I might keep forever. I've always been a list girl. I have lists of things to do, things to buy, names I like, etc. My new list is the best one of all. It's called "Things I Accomplished" and it gets made every day. I get to write down everything that I get done each day (from the smallest accomplishments to the very large (one day those will happen, right?) so that when I feel frustrated that my house is a disaster and dinner has not even been thought about, I can look at it and remember that I actually have gotten a couple of things done. Happy Happy Day.
One thing I've discovered recently is about motherhood in general. When we first decided to adopt, I felt sort of like I would be missing out on the whole birth experience. I came to accept it, and by the time Sydney was born I was completely happy with the way things were. When I got pregnant with Mady I wondered what would be different. Everyone had told me that there was nothing that could compare to giving birth. Having now experienced both, I can honestly say that although childbirth and adoption are different, they are also equally special. Mady's introduction to our family was physically much more exhausting, but Sydney's was much more emotionally exhausting. I know for a fact now that I never missed anything with Sydney just because I didn't give birth to her. She is as much "our own" daughter as Mady is and we love them both very much. There are many ways to make a family and all of them are wonderful. We love our little family and are happy to have everyone healthy and well.
Thanks everyone for your love and support over the past few weeks!
11 comments:
I love the idea of your list. I am a list girl too, so I think I might steal that idea. Sometimes a shower would be the biggest item on that list, sigh.
Yes, 2 little ones can be draining, but it does get easier...well you figure out how to make it work better. It is a constant work in progress.
My girls are almost as closely spaced as yours (as was my sister and I) and it is a lovely thing. When our #2 came a bit ahead of schedule I was scared of booting #1 out of her babyhood, but my mom reminded that I was giving her the best gift ever, a sister. She was right!
I have no idea how people with twins do it.
You are basically in that same boat though since my little nieces are both still so mini.
Here it is at 3:45 in the AM and my kiddo is kicking my gut and I think adoption sounds more and more appealing :) You get the cute kid without the swelling, weight gain, and pain.
Without adoption, I wouldn't have my little Squidney niece. So way to go.
Also, a lighter huh? That will teach you all to smoke! Just kidding...
Love the thoughts... a great and very real perspective which I love hearing. Hang in there on the tough days ok?!
Good idea on the list. Mom has them everywhere. There is a feeling of accomplishment on getting to check things off your list. Just remember that Heavenly Father does not give us challenges that he does not think we can handle. You can do this & will do it very well. You will learn & grow in the process!
I love the list idea as well. I want You are my hero for having 2 kids so close.. I don't understand how people do it. I struggle with one most days and he's really good! Keep going! I love you!
I love the accomplishment list idea! There are definitely days when you're not sure just what you did accomplish - even though there's always something! I also really enjoyed reading your perspective on the different ways the girls joined your family, but how they are both special!
So I was thinking that what you were describing sounds completely normal, at least that's how it works around here, but then I got to the list/coping strategy part and then I was really impressed. What a good idea! You'll do just fine. Also I would say that it does get more crazy with each child but as they grow up they do more of that stuff for them selves. The baby part really is the hardest. So, just keep hanging in there!
Devony,
Your post was great to read. I know we have talked about it before, but it is nice to hear someone "on the other side" confirm what I felt in my heart. It's not how a child comes into your family, but that they are part of your family that is the important thing.
Good luck with your two little sweetie pies! I'm sure you are doing a great job!
I love you sweet girls. Your family is so wonderful. I love you guys. Glad Mady made it here safely and that Syd is doing well with her new arrival. Your girls will be best of friends and worst of enemies. But in the end it will be so worth it.
2 was SUPER hard for me. You're doing GREAT. It only gets better. Slowly, but it does get better.
You crack me up! It gets better - trust me! When Luke was born Rylee started "investigating" places around the house. She woke me up from a nap once holding an empty bottle of solution I use for developing pictures. She drank it! That led to a trip to the emergency room and ALOT of paperwork! Being a parent isn't hard - adding babies and exhaustion IS!
Sigh...
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