Getting Sappy

In the "Before Sydney" chapter of my life, I remember how painful it sometimes was to read other people's blogs about how much they loved their kids.  Not the "I love my kids so much" comments, but the ones who could talk of nothing else.  It seemed like they were just twisting the knife in my heart with each word.  (Don't feel bad if you've done those posts, you didn't mean to hurt anyone, you just love your kids.)  So, in the "With Babies" chapter of my life, I've tried not to be overly gushy about them since I know I have blog readers who are in the same situation I was once.  But tonight, I have to write it down.  I have to preserve how I feel, so if you feel like I did, then you might want to skip this one.

I just watched 2012, and like all apocalypse movies, it made me sad, but the worst part is when a child is the main character.  Seeing the little girl in that show made my think of my little girls, and when one of them called, "Mommy!" in her sleep, I ran up.  They were both asleep, so I took a rare moment and just stared at them.  I smelled them, kissed them, and brushed their sweet little cheeks.  I love them so dearly.  I've heard people talk about how they love their children more than life itself.  I've wondered how you know that, and then occasionally, it hits me.  I love them.  Differently, yet equally.  But so much it hurts.  And I decided a few things tonight.  People often wonder what heaven will be like.  I think I know.  Heaven will be the color of Sydney's baby blue eyes.  It will smell like Mady's hair does after a bath and that yummy purple lotion.  It will be as soft as my babies' cheeks and as wispy as Sydney's little curls.  It will sound like their soft breathing when they're deeply asleep and the stars will look like Mady's smiley eyes when she's really pleased.  Her whole face smiles and it's like someone turned another light on in the room.  No one will ever be sad, because how could you not be on cloud 9 with smiles like these to look at?  (Plus get a load of those mad scientist eyebrows on Sydney.  She uses them well and often.  I LOVE them.)

I love my family.  I love my husband.  I love, cherish, and adore my babies.  I have to go peek in on them again.  Goodnight.